Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
