I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
