feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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