Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
