I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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