Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
