My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize