you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
