Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
