Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize