i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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