last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
