My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
