i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
