At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
