I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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