That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we should paint friendship bongs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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