I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
