Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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