maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I AM VODKA MAN
The uberlube is also flammable
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
