apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
