go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
