May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
