1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
