it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize