i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
