i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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