he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
