JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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