I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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