Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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