Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
