why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
