what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
