Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
