So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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