It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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