Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
