He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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