I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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