I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
