This is not my ceiling
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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