I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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