today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He better not be in your backpack
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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