It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
