There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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