I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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