it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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