you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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