you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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