Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
