It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
