i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.