Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
