So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she peed on how many people?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
