i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
