all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
