we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
