Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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